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| Tuesday, August 12th, 2003 | | 7:37 pm |
back from the 47 hour trip to berkeley, it was awesome. i love those boys so much. i'm going to be in ireland until the 27th. if you need me, you can try emailing but if it's an emergency email my dad at the address he just set up: crossfamily@hotmail.com. i hope everybody has an awesome few weeks, i'll miss you and see you soon. | | Sunday, July 20th, 2003 | | 2:05 pm |
Every morning I spoonfeed myself humanity From a bright blue, red and white box Trying hard to stomach the flakes’ sugary coating With their lack of substance and soggy, shapeless centers And it’s all so hard to swallow sometimes It’s sirens and thunder In this world torn asunder Where it’s easier to please the town Than the one you need to keep from going under Every afternoon I labor to avoid calamity Keeping my eyes glued to the thousand clocks While my mind’s numb and my thoughts are floating Just wanting to run screaming out the door marked ‘Enter’ This existence just seems so shallow sometimes Is it silence or thunder In this world I do wonder If playing a cookie cutter clown Will prove to be my greatest blunder Every evening I succumb to my own vanity And join the others on the docks Maudlin in make-up and misgivings, a volatile coating Shattering my consciousness so I can dream of being an inventor It just feels so hollow sometimes It’s violence and thunder In this world made of numbers That wage war for fleeting renown As I lose the will to awaken from this daily slumber- epimetheus | | Saturday, May 17th, 2003 | | 3:18 am |
| | Thursday, May 15th, 2003 | | 2:43 pm |
i am so boring The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!Here is how you matched up against all the levels: Take the Dante Inferno Hell Testit's obviously wrong on some accounts coughcoughgluttoncoughcough | | Sunday, May 11th, 2003 | | 3:04 am |
the week leading up to tuesday of the week that just ended (i'm not good with 'this' and 'last' and such) was one of the most demanding of all time, paper due, three midterms in one day, student council interview, first student council meeting, leading my first meeting for that position, studying 15 hours a day; now that it's over, i'm really glad it happened because everything got done and more importantly got done fairly well because of the effort that went into it. anyway i'm looking forward to summer but enjoying the brutal insanity of this quarter and even looking forward to next fall when i'm rooming with three of my best erc friends and i've decided my majors (double in poli sci-maybe theory but don't want to copy jord :)- and history of war, revolution and social change with a minor in lit writing and maybe something else to finish up my fourth year) and i get to do cool sperc and scerc stuff so i'm looking forward to everything especially because i know it's going to be really hard. i love a good challenge. tonight i saw a bunch of people who came down for the strave show. it was great seeing everybody. the show really impressed me. i always watch the guys (strave) rehearse but i was just so proud to see them put on such a kickass show. it's odd to say that i was proud, but it really really made me happy that they put in so much work and did something that was so quality and that they love to do. so that was extremely rad, as was all the support they got. and i was really happy that a couple of my friends from school came just cause i asked them and i knew they'd dig it. i should sleep, i get to see the fam tomorrow. i really love that, they are the best and they make me happy to just hang out with; i'm not going home next weekend cause it's sungod (ethan's taking me to an indian casino!!!) but the next weekend i am and i'm excited because as much as i really do love everything down here, i can only go so long without my mom and dad. that sounds lame, but they are really just great people and i need pick me ups of their company every so often. that is all, i'm in a really great mood because things are hard and going fairly well and i'm really happy for the guys because they were totally awesome tonight. that is all. | | Monday, April 21st, 2003 | | 12:36 pm |
The vestal virgin with no flames to stoke No hearths to tend No witnesses of abnegation The watchful eye of the patron cast elsewhere The fire cannot be rekindled But the ashes remain untouched In the hopes that they will someday spawn a phoenix It could only rise up Circle the rafters and find an exit Like the priests, the congregation, and the one to whom homage is paid The first of which directs their worship inward The second bend their heads seeking dropped coins And the third vanished in the smoke that rose in his name and took it with him Made complacent by consistent adoration Not offended but disinterested Now nothing left to celebrate and no reason to stay celibate He is why she faithfully came here And will silently remain here Even though the temple is empty and growing cold Can’t burn it down and start again Can’t even find the door The sun’s rays don’t penetrate this far down She domesticates a catacomb If he would just return Warmth and light would flow into her But her Agni cares not For his priestess He will never Come back To her Now - epimetheus | | Friday, April 18th, 2003 | | 1:20 pm |
they say the crazy ones never know. at least they said that in catch-22. at least they may have said it in that one excerpt we read in sat reading that i relied upon back when i used to pretend to have read it (bledsoe, it's my catcher in the rye) | | Wednesday, April 9th, 2003 | | 10:31 pm |
Put down the self-help books and the magazines with your idle idols. Cancel your newspaper subscription; you only read gossip and obituaries anyway. Don’t you think it’s odd that you envy the subjects of both sections? All day long you dream about soaring and scoring, but you have to do more than eat organic food and own a gym membership to be my modern-day hero. You need to walk before you run, so why don’t you take a lap in your own shoes for once- Cinderella’s glass slipper doesn’t fit you. It may be cool to be cynical and hip to be disengaged but it’s neither five of a kind nor a flush if all the cards in your hand are blank. The blasé void that your poker-face projects is more than skin deep. Too bad the doctor that gives you your facials can’t remove the callow callouses you’ve earned through intense inaction. The celebrities you taped to your mirror scream at you to lose some weight, stand up straight. You’d weigh a lot less if you took off that tattered Superman costume: that’s not what SS stands for anyway. You’d stand up straighter if your head wasn’t bowed in false supplication to graven profiles. Superstars don’t make superb superegos- cast your glance and your aspirations instead to the supernovas that exist in the hope that surrounds this planet. Dead for thousands of years, their light still radiates to those who remember to seek the quintessence- epimetheus | | Friday, April 4th, 2003 | | 5:18 pm |
my day has come:  | | Friday, March 21st, 2003 | | 3:22 pm |
 Your Ataris song is "Giving Up On Love"- You get confused easily by life when everything seems to go wrong. Things can really seem hopeless and you just don't feel like dealing with anything anymore. Man, the world is kind of screwed up, isn't it? Don't worry though, things will look brighter in the morning :) What Ataris 'End is Forever' Song Are You? brought to you by Quizilla | | Wednesday, March 19th, 2003 | | 12:55 am |
 Socialist - You believe the free market can be beneficial, but that a large and powerful state is necessary to redistribute the wealth of the top classes to those of the bottom. You also think that basic utilities and trasportation should be publicly owned. Your historical role model is Eugene Debs. Which political sterotype are you? brought to you by Quizillahey erin, your favorite supreme court case, eugene v debs. ok poli sci is over, jazz is tomorrow (jazzica and i are studying up a storm), mmw is thursday and italy is ostensibly saturday | | Monday, March 10th, 2003 | | 4:19 pm |
I am regular old boring Calvin!You don't get to travel much outside your neighborhood, but you still manage to get in plenty of trouble. When you're not acting up, you like to wax philosophical.
Which Calvin are YOU? | | Wednesday, March 5th, 2003 | | 1:48 am |
ok so today i went to all my classes (and stayed awake for 2/3), went to the housing info meeting with the 3 girls i'm going to be living with, went to the market and bought relatively healthy food, and did 3 tubs of laundry. it is safe to say i am no longer living the derelicte lifestyle and won't be probably for the next... couple days. and i'm going to do some poli sci reading for the first time since the midterm. wow. | | Tuesday, March 4th, 2003 | | 7:43 pm |
got this as a forward from jord and it makes me smile: IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, BOMB IRAQ (a poem by John Robbins) If you cannot find Osama , bomb Iraq. If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq. If the terrorists are frisky, Pakistan is looking shifty, North Korea is too risky, Bomb Iraq. If we have no allies with us, Bomb Iraq. If we think that someone's dissed us, Bomb Iraq. So to hell with the inspections, Lets look tough for the elections, Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq. It's pre-emptive non-aggression, Bomb Iraq. To prevent this mass destruction, Bomb Iraq. They've got weapons we can't see, And that's all the proof we need, If they are not there, they must be there, Bomb Iraq. If you never were elected, Bomb Iraq. If your mood is quiet dejected, Bomb Iraq. If you think Saddam's gone mad, With the weapons that he had, And he tried to kill your Dad, Bomb Iraq. If corporate fraud is growing Bomb Iraq. If your ties to it are showing, Bomb Iraq. If your politics are sleazy, And hiding that ain't easy, And your manhood's getting queasy, Bomb Iraq. Fall in line and follow orders, Bomb Iraq. For our might knows not our borders, Bomb Iraq. Disagree? We'll call it treason, Let's make war not love this season, Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq. | | Friday, February 28th, 2003 | | 3:35 am |
rough night, emotions flared, lessons learned, bhagavad gita read, krishna blue | | Thursday, February 27th, 2003 | | 4:42 am |
i just had a conversation with meara that lasted about four hours. while i couldn't possibly revisit the details in such a forum, i have realized once again just how at peace with myself i am. even when i shouldn't be. it's weird, we pretty much put everything out on the table, i talked about everything about myself that i like and can't stand, everything that has made me cry (i'd never have enough time to talk about everything that has made me laugh, even in the course of a day), everything i believe in and don't believe, everything i'd like to accomplish and everything that will stand in my way. the upshot is that i'm ready to face whatever comes my way with outstretched arms and clenched fists, and i know i can take whatever gets thrown my way because i'm as strong as the bonds that raised me. because i can't really convey the graciousness i'm feeling towards my family right now or the tranquility towards myself, i'm going to stop. hopefully in a few weeks (days perhaps) when i'm swamped by finals and whatever bogs me down i can reflect and not just think i was being crazy. | | Tuesday, February 25th, 2003 | | 3:30 am |
right now i smell like maple syrup. no matter how mature and sophisticated i may get, one thing that grounds me is that i will always wind up smelling like my dinner. | | Thursday, February 13th, 2003 | | 3:25 am |
one of ethan's many women-related quotes: Women are not at ease except with those who take chances with them, and enter into their spirit. -Ninon de l'Enclos hm. | | Friday, January 31st, 2003 | | 12:46 pm |
| | Thursday, January 30th, 2003 | | 1:41 am |
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